Twas the night before Christmas...
by Reka
Summary: It 'twas the night before Christmas,and all through the Ichijouji house,Everyone was snoring, even the mouse.
1. ... with Ken-chan!!

twas.html

'Twas the night before Christmas...   
by Reka

It 'twas the night before Christmas,   
and all through the Ichijouji house,   
Everyone was snoring, even the mouse.   
Ken-chan was sleeping,   
With happy dreams   
and Osamu was smiling,   
Dreaming of ways to kill him.   
Their parents woke up,   
at the same time they cried,   
"WE FORGOT TO GET KEN A PRESENT AGAIN!!"   
So they rushed across the room,   
Woke Osamu up,   
both screaming, "GIVE US A PRESENT, NOW!!"   
Grudgingly,   
Plotting to kill them someday,   
Osamu handed over his   
Antique 01 Digivice!   
With cries of thanks,   
bows, "ARIGATOU!"s,   
Both wrapped it in   
A tiny pink box   
With purple ribbon and   
"to Ken-chan, from us"   
written on the side in black ink.   
When Ken-chan woke,   
(He didn't sleep very well, poor kid)   
He ran to the tree.   
His eyes searching,   
those big kawaii chibi eyes tearing,   
until Osamu gave him the pink box.   
He opened it, and smiled,   
Fangirls melting into multicolored goo as they watched,   
"That's juuuuuuuust what I wanted for Christmas,"   
He said and smiled. 


	2. ... with Chibi Yamato-chan!

twas2.html

> Twas the night before christmas...   
With Yamato!!   
By Reka

  
'Twas the night before Christmas,   
and all through the Ishida house,   
Chibi Yamato-chan was sleeping,   
quiet as a mouse.   
Tears glistened under   
those kawaii chibi eyes,   
and his dreams were full of sadness,   
for his parents had just split up.   
His mother was gone,   
Takeru too,   
(If she knew how he would be in a few years, she would have dumped Takeru on her husband, too.)   
Yamato had gotten his dad   
A photo of him and Mom   
in a last attempt to get them back together.   
A blue box,   
supposedly from Takeru-   
(He's too young, it's from his mother.)   
Held a small chibi wolf stuffed animal   
that looked positively ridiculous.   
Dawn broke,   
Yamato-chan heard the bang,   
and those big innocent chibi eyes slid open,   
and he immediately started to cry.   
(Don't cry, Yamato-chan!!)   
After he finished crying, fangirls attached themselves to him,   
and our poor little Yama looked like a Christmas tree with fangirl ornaments.   
His eyes welled up with tears again,   
and fangirls detatched themselves,   
yelling, "Don't cry, Yama-chan!" and making the funny noises   
Yamato later learned to identify with   
Fangirls in heat.   
He went to the tree,   
saw the box,   
and unwrapped the wolf,   
Ignoring the fangirls yelling, "AWWW!!" 


	3. ...Koushiro-chan!!

twas3.html 'Twas the night before Christmas...   
With Koushiro-chan!!!   
By Reka 

'Twas the night before Christmas,   
and all through the Izumi house,   
Everyone was sending viruses,   
including the mouse.   
Little Koushiro's first language had not been Japanese,   
but C++.   
His parents hadn't died yet,   
and were busy writing HTML to give to their son.   
It made a flashing webpage that read,   
"----Merry Christmas, our dear computer nerdy son.-   
-From Mom, Dad, your family, you know, US?!----"   
Koushiro simply hacked into their computer,   
Read it, smiled   
and proceeded to hack into Fangirls' computers   
and read their sick fantasies about him and-- THEM.   
He gulped, went to bed with nightmares, and   
The Fangirls never knew what hit them.   



	4. 

twas4.html 'Twas the night before Christmas...   
... With Chibi Jyou!   


'Twas the night before Christmas,   
and all through the house,   
All THREE brothers were sleeping,   
dreaming of getting an 100 in Science.   
Little Jyou was sleeping,   
tucked away from the dubbers   
who insisted on messing up   
The wonderful family.   
They first stole Shin,   
sticking Shuu's face on him,   
they insisted on calling Shin "Jim."   
Shuu was next,   
Who cried his eyes out   
because the Americans didn't know he existed.   
Secretly, Shuu and Shin decided to screw the dubbers   
making a pact to appear together in episode 50.   
Jyou slept on,   
oblivious,   
now dreaming of walruses   
who talk, kick butt   
but most of all   
Drink coffee with ten pounds of sugar everyday.   
His dreams then turned to nightmares   
of pink birds and pink hair   
and Jyou screamed and sat straight up   
drawing the attention of dubbers   
who thought he would be much BETTER as a main character.   
So they tied him up,   
Gagged him, muffled his screams.   
On Christmas morning,   
The fangirls dressed in black   
mourned for their Jyou   
At the mercy of the dubbers,   
and always in danger of being impaled on walrus tusks. 


	5. ... involving Taichi! (and the less impo...

twas5.html 'Twas the Night Before Christmas...   
Involving Taichi! _(and the less important Hikari)_   
by Reka 

'Twas the night before Christmas,   
and all through the Yagami house,   
Everyone was being stupid,   
even the Christmas tree lights.   
_(It is rumored that the Yagami family named their Christmas tree lights over a few mugs of spiked Egg Nog. The lights were named 'Hikari' which is Japanese for 'light'. The lights later were donated to a stray cat named Tailmon to light up her house at night.)_

Taichi was very drunk,   
(after drinking 23 mugfulls of spiked egg nog you would be too, trust me)   
and laughed, sung loudly, danced, and barfed   
with his loony parents who were nuts.   
_(Of course, the Christmas tree lights also joined in the festivities, but that's not important.)_

Since all were drunk,   
it was   
quite easy for the fangirl,   
alone,   
to snatch Taichi away. 

She would've gotten clean away   
if the little drunk   
boy on her back   
hadn't started belting out   
"The Star-Spangled Banner,"   
in **horrible** English. 

The Christmas tree lights,   
_(which were less drunk than everyone else, but that's not important)_   
heard the senseless singing and   
fainted silently. 

At the center of the 'music,'   
the fangirl and all those within a 10-foot radius   
all died with a large bang,   
leaving poor little Taichi   
all alone. 

Taichi crawled home.   
"Ma... ma....?"   
The drunk boy croaked.   
The door opened,   
although not his parents,   
only the wind.   
_(As well as those Christmas tree lights, but just as she did, the author got annoyed and sent the lights to Hell, and they're not importantanyway.)_   


The author was smiling on him.   
"Go on,"   
She whispered through the clouds.   
"Get drunk."   
  



End file.
